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28.7.16

DID I JUST SAY THAT?

Ever have those moments when you walk away from a conversation, job interview or date and think to yourself, whilst cringing at the same time 'Why on earth, did I just say that?' Well then this post is for you, because today we're looking at the reasons behind our brain farts, as well as sharing some of the embarrassing moments of things I've said myself and all for the purposes of a laugh and sharing some tips on how to avoid those totally awks moments we all experience in life.

Embarassing Moment #1 - Job Interview 2009 
Conversation: "So tell me Laura, Why do you want this job"
Reply: "I want the money" 

Kill me now! did I really just hear those words come from my mouth? I had no clue why I said what I did during the interview, but I really had to hold in a burst of laughter after I did and that made things even worse, they were so disgusted. I had no way to recover and as soon as the words left my lips, the man interviewing me scratched the pen through my name. I knew I'd totally sunk myself right there and then but when you really think about it, why else would you want to work 40+ hours a week, other than financing your life? You don't work for fun, right?

I could honestly write a book with all of my cringey moments as there are just way too many to put into one whole post. I think I've mentally blocked out a lot of them to save myself the thought. I swear that when I need to be on top of my game for important moments, my brain malfunctions, someone puppeteers me and moves my mouth, while working my brains for me. It's like someone else takes me over and I'm just the body standing there, totally abandoning my own brain cells of very useful information. It's hilarious! Not so much in the moment, but as time passes by I see the funny side.

However, as time has gone by I've realised that these embarrassing moments don't come from a tiny little person sitting on my shoulder and speaking for me but rather my own self-confidence. Sometimes it is just a total brain fart and I blab whatever I can think of in awkward situations or just to say something, but most of the time it's down to me not feeling confident enough to be myself in certain situations. Nerves play a huge part when it comes to dating and job interviews but conversations with people are just feeling inferior to someone else in the moment.

I think the worst part is when you know exactly everything there is about the topic of discussion but the brain just won't kick into gear. I hate those moments as I feel so defeated and of course, stupid. There's been only too many times when hours later after an anxious moment I've replayed the scene and actually imagine myself saying exactly what I wanted to say in the first place. It's just shyness and I'm so much better now I'm older and these moments are rare but they do still happen, they're a part of me, it's who I am. So if you ever meet me in real life and I'm not responding to a conversation in the way you think I would, it's because I'm having a brain fart of panic and I'm feeling shy. I'm such a chatty person and I talk to anybody but when the pressure is on to be the best version of myself, sometimes I just crack and nerves take over. I've accepted that and I'm totally fine with it now, well most of the time when I stop putting pressure on myself. Everyone who knows me says I'm my own worst enemy and I couldn't agree more.

Brainfart #2 - First Date with new Guy 2008
Conversation: (Along the lines off "So I hope you had a good time, I really enjoyed spending time with you tonight"
Reply: Yep totally, I love you

OMG!!! Did I just say that??? I almost died right there on the spot and I never forget it. I couldn't believe I said something I didn't even mean but he didn't respond with anything, thankfully and he just stared past me at the traffic driving past. I then hopped on my bus as fast as I could and just sat with my face in my hands absolutely moritified the entire journey home.

My advice to anyone who suffers with brain fart syndrome, is to just accept what you said in that moment and move on from it, just cut the ties right there. If you struggle to try and recover it only makes things worse, just try to just see the funny side instead. Let the panic fade naturally, don't try to battle it, just breathe and move on when you're ready.

Try not to hit that replay button in your brain either, watching the scene happen over and over again does you no favours, but heightens the problem and causes you more anxiety and distress. Instead of doing that, distract yourself, fix your tie/dress, what ever you can, just focus on something outside, or if you're wearing Jewellery, pretend to adjust it. In a job interview these things work wonders if I'm feeling embarrassed about the way I responded to a question, I then use one of these little "methods" to recover and then I explain I'm nervous. Admitting your nerves always helps the situation and in my younger years at the beginning of my dream career, I had to tolerate a lot of moments like this because I was just so shy. Now I'm older I'm much better, I never pretend to be someone I'm not, that only leads to chronic brain fart syndrome and lots more awkward moments. Lying does nothing for your self-confidence either, so just accept that you are shy or nervous and deal with it as best you can.

Remember, it's totally ok to make mistakes, get embarrassed or say and do the wrong things, that's just a huge part of life. The reality is that we all make mistakes and say the wrong things at times and no, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. I actually like to look at these moments more positively and as more of a learning curve because we grow from them and get better as time goes by in awkward moments randomly thrown at us, or during conversations in which words just won't come together in the way you would like them too. It's all good fun in the end and we shouldn't take things too seriously no matter the situation. My main issue in life is that I take it way too seriously in moments I feel are too important to screw up, but that's where I tend to make the most mistakes. I just tell myself in the mornings that I can handle anything and be myself no matter the situation or meeting I have to attend and that's a little bit of cheesy prep talk but it works.

I know for sure you've all experienced moments like this and perhaps way worse. You know those few seconds when you're screaming inside, dying with embarassment because you can't quite believe what you just said? Yes, well, we've all been there dolls and I would love to hear about them in the comments below. Share with me all your funniest, cringiest moments, or any tips or advice you can give to those trying to get the dream job, meet someone new, or are struggling to have a simple conversation about a topic they're thoroughly knowledgeable in because that can be the hardest thing to deal with. Get typing and get sharing your stories, men and women are welcome, so open up and get sharing!

Laura x

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